Cookie monster found dead

Some of the details about this death–he was shot in the back of the head. He was due to testify about Clinton’s mysterious missing e-mails. He was last seen alive telling Hillary Clinton that “C is for classified”.

“C is for classified, it’s good enough for me! C is for classified, don’t leak that information! Oh, classified, classified, classified starts with C!”

Clinton had told the Cookie monster that she did not recall the letter “C”, found his song annoying and a complete rip-off and plagiarism of the “C is for Cookie” song, and told the Cookie Monster she would cause him “great pain” if he “sang it one more time”.

All of the evidence points to an assassination on the Clinton campaign, however, we still report it as a suicide because suicide is best done with a gun-shot wound to the back of the head.


About newenglandsun

A student. Male. Passionate. Easily offended. Child-like wonderer. Growing in faith, messing up daily.
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